It was Valentine’s day last week! I had an interesting conversation with a friend’s daughter. She is a beautiful 18-year old. She was talking about being away from her boyfriend back in Germany, crying a lot and badly missing him. She said she was totally, madly in love with him and would marry him immediately if he proposed to her. She found it really upsetting that he was often on WhatsApp but he didn’t bother to reply to her messages until much later. To her, he is the world.
Girls, how many of you have felt a bit frustrated with your bf not replying to your texts quickly enough? Haha, I know I did when I was dating my husband.
She loves painting, she wants to go to university studying art and eventually become a famous artist, but her 35-year old accountant boyfriend told her that she would be OK just getting a job as a tattoo artist; he said, women eventually would become mothers and focus their life on the family anyway. At the sound of this, I guess many of you are already frowning, I did, too. I am not sure if he truly loves her.
There is no doubt of course true love, I love the way how Song of Soloman describes love, ”Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.”
But if love is all that is in life, isn’t life a bit boring and too intense? What about your dream and your hobbies when you were a little girl? How about this other friend who is lonely and could do with a phone call from you saying hello? Do you remember that new country that seems absolutely fascinating and definitely is worth a visit? Maybe trying a new sport such as sailing? There is an amazing book sitting on the shelf. And do you know Mum and Dad would love to spend some time with you?
Girls, find yourself first before you settle down with Mr Right. Your identity is not someone’s girlfriend or someone’s wife. You need to find yourself first. This is not about being a feminist, it is about you, yourself, your life! No love from a man will validate you.
Be true to yourself, find that ”something bigger than yourself” which you are passionate about, which will stand the test of time, which will be your legacy, keep doing it regardless of the returns, stick to it, believe in it. You are who you choose to become, who you aspire to be. Maybe you don’t know who you want to become yet, so keep looking, you will come across a moment when you suddenly realise what you can do (your potential ), what you can’t do or tolerate, and who you truly want to become. That moment will come to you when you don’t give up and keep trying. There is so much temptation, so many distractions in life, focus on finding out what you truly want to be, keep trying and keep praying for the right door to open!
Be the woman you have always wanted to be! Love Scape xxx